Because He Loved Them
by Hikari Anderson-Hummel
Summary: But it was okay. He could handle all the pain in the world. Because he loved them.
1. Because He Loved Them

Ahhh it feels good to be back. And to celebrate my return, I have some OT4 for everyone. Unfortunately, there is some bad news. But that will be announced at the end of this oneshot.

Disclaimer: I do not own these boys. I simply, use them for my torturing purposes.

Now, I shall say what I've been wanting to say in a long time.

Now On With The Fic!

'Thinking' "Talking"

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Is there any way to tell someone you love them?

Is there any way to show someone they matter to you?

Is there any way at all?

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He loves them. That's why he's in here, sitting in the apartment all by himself, doing their work while they ignore him. But it's okay. He can handle the nelgect. Because he loves them.

He's tired. But he has to finish this before tomorrow or they can't perform. And it would be his fault if they didn't perform. So he refuses to sleep. But it's okay. He can handle losing all of the sleep he needs. Because he loves them.

He's having trouble concentrating. He can't seem to answer these problems that he has known his whole life. He knows it's because he hasn't slept since they got back. But it's okay. He can handle the hard work. Because he loves them.

But if they loved him, they would be helping him. If they loved him, they wouldn't ignore him. He's okay with the fact that they're ignoring him and he's okay with the fact that they aren't helping him. He's okay with it, because he loves them.

"Logan? Honey? You need to sleep." the motherly voice seems to appear from no where but he ignores it. He doesn't need sleep. He needs to finish this work. He still has two projects and three book reports to finish. Sleep, is not an option.

" 'Mm fine Momma Knight." he mumbles, his voice scratchy, and the woman can't help but feel sorry for her baby boy. She knows that he hasn't done anything but work. She knows that this is too much work for Logan to handle.

"Then at least eat some food. We have left over pizza from last night." she watches the brunette shake his head. He doesn't have time for breaks. He needs to finish this work. He's only doing it because he loves them.

"For me sweetie? C'mon, the work will still be there by the time you finish." He's already done with the science projects by the time she manages to get him to agree. Now he has to finish the book reports. But he knows that she's right. If he doesn't eat, he'll pass out.

He starts to get up from his spot on the desk, but doesn't get to far before he's falling over, stumbling to get to the kitchen where he only eats half a slice of pizza and a tiny sip of water before he goes back to work.

It only takes six hours and twenty energy drinks later before he's finally done. The guys still haven't come back home and he's perfectly fine with that because he doesn't want them to see him like this. His normally spiked hair flat, his eyes dark and gray, and the unusual paleness he has aquired are something frightening.

"Logan Mitchell!" He jumps at the shout, loud noise is something he isn't used to. He looks up to see Mrs. Knight, standing over him with that motherly stare and he knows that he has to sleep or eat...or something.

The mom of five points to his bedroom and he nods slowly. He doesn't even make it halfway before he's collapsing on the carpet, face covered in a cold sweat. It's not long before he's being moved to the couch where he will be wrapped up in blankets and a towel will be placed on his forehead.

She knew this would happen. She knew that he only did it because he loved them. She just wished that they loved him too.

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It's almost three hours after Logan has passed out before the boys get home. And the minute they enter their home, they are met with an angry Mrs. Knight. And an angry Mrs. Knight was someone no one wanted to deal with.

"Where have you boys been?" she asked, her foot tapping and her eyes narrowing.

The boys gulped and took a small step back.

"Well I was with Jo."

"And me and Carlos were trying to get back our PalmWoods cred."

She nodded and then smiled.

"Where was Logan?" she asked, although she already knew the answer, she wanted the boys to answer it for her. She could only hope that they didn't completely forget about their brainiac.

"Wasn't he here?" Carlos asked. He would've been so sure that his friend was getting all of his work done.

"Yea, normally he wants to finish his work." James stated.

Kendall, on the other hand, didn't answer. In all honesty, the three had forgotten about their friend. They had no idea where he was.

Kendall saw his mom frown, he knew that she knew where their friend was. But he didn't think it would be polite to ask.

Mrs. Knight pointed to four stacks of papers before she turned around and walked to her room, the frown on her face even bigger than it was before.

James was the first one to enter the kitchen, looking at the stack that had a sticky note with the name "James" on it. The pretty boy started flipping through all the work books only to find that all of his work was finished.

Carlos was the second one to enter and he was shocked to see that every single paper had an answer on it, every problem solved. He didn't know whether to be happy or worried about this.

When Kendall flipped through his work books he was stunned. Every problem, every answer, every number, and even every letter was written in Logan's handwriting. The blonde immeaditely knew that the brunette had completed all of their work. However, when he looked through Logan's work, the handwriting seemed to have gotten sloppy, extra lines and letters that weren't even needed were there.

Kendall knew that Logan didn't do his work till he had finished theirs.

When the trio walked into the living room and were shocked to see their Logan, lying on the couch with a towel on his forhead. His breathing was shallow and he looked like he was dead. The boys knew that Logan put his health in danger for them.

It was their fault that their friend was like this. It was their job to make sure Logan had a normal balence of fun, and a normal balence of school work. But because they weren't there, their friend had done the impossible and now he was sick.

A violent cough broke them out of their thought and they looked down at Logan, trying to help the singer but it didn't work. Instead, Logan's coughing got worse for a few more minutes before he finally stopped, clinging onto the blanket and the edge of the couch.

"You okay Logie?" James asked, rubbing small circles on his friends back. Logan nodded and fell back on the couch, wondering why his friends were here.

"Why're you guys here? Ya'll are normally with everyone." It's barely a whisper when it's being said. The lack of food and normal drinks are finally catching up with him. The exhaustion caught up with him when he collapsed on the carpet. Either way, he wanted to know why the boys finally gave a damn about him.

Carlos sat in front of Logan and thought about what he had said, and he was wondering why Logan sounded so sad. Did Logan think they were ignoring him?

"Why do you say that Logan?"

Logan looked down at the carpet before sighing. "You guys dont spend time with me anymore. And you cant say you have, because the tour doesn't really count. You three had to be there. But as soon as you got back, you all left me. I had to finish all of the work just so we could perform. Face it, you three forgot about me." The brunette then rolled onto his side, his face err facing the couch. He knew they didn't want to be his friend anymore. But it's okay. He candle the fact that he'll be the lonely boy from Minnesota all over again.

He can handle all the pain in the world. Because he loved them.

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How was it? Was it okay?

Personally, I didn't really like how I wrote Kendall, James, and Carlos' parts. I loved the ending though.

Okay, now it's time for the bad news that was mentioned in the beginning. Now, I need everyone to understand where i am coming from when I tell you this. I have been gone for months due to depression. In those months, I have noticed something about my stories.

They. Suck.

Recently, I have started re-writing every chapter of my stories. Starting with Shattered Silence.

So, in case you haven't caught on, I'm deleting Toy Soldiers and Shattered Silence. I'm debating on deleting The Bet. But since I have already re-written (Is that a word!) the first two chapters, it's most likely that they will be deleted.

Please, please don't be mad at me. I didn't know that this would happen. But I rpomise that they will be just as good as the original.

If anyone has any questions or problems with this, feel free to PM me.

Love Peace and Slash:

Hikari!


	2. Insomnia

Hey guys! So I'm turning Because He Loved Them into a oneshot storybook thingy! I just want to do a quick short little update to let everyone know that I'm still alive and for anybody who is wondering, yes updates will be coming soon. So my Little Lights, we all know what time it is!

It's Disclaimer Time!

Disclaimer: I do not own these lovely boys. I just like to torture Logan.

Now On With The Shot!

'Thinking'

"Talking"

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Insomnia

He refuses to tell them.

It's been five days and it's been four nights. That is how long Logan Mitchell has been without sleep. But he doesn't tell anyone. He keeps his insomnia problems to himself because he doesn't want to bother anybody with something as so small as loss of sleep. It's not that bad. Just because he's going on night number five doesn't really mean anything. And he does get sleep!

Sometimes, when he's in the shower, his eyes end up closing for a few minutes before he realizes that he has rehearsal and he can't waste water because it's bad for the enviorment. But it is sleep. It's five minutes of sleep and that's good enough for him.

But then, there are times during the day where he feels like he's going to pass out from exhaustion. He will stand up and suddenly, the room will spin like he's just fallen into a fucking tornado and he loses his balence, grabbing onto one of boyfriends with a death grip.

And of course, they always ask him what's wrong. But he tells them that he just got up to fast. Most of the time, they believe him because, well, they were right there. They had seen him get up too fast. Other times, he doesn't get up fast enough. But he still refuses to tell them.

He refuses to tell them because he loves them enough to not have them worry about him. Plus, it's not that bad. He knows he'll get sleep eventually. He just doesn't know when he'll be able to sleep. But he knows he'll sleep. He just knows it.

He knows that he can't keep this secret up. He just can't. It's getting harder every day and he can't seem to control anything anymore. He wants to sleep. But for some reason, he can't and it's scaring him. It scares him because he hasnever gone this long without sleep and he doesn't know what to do. For the first time in his life, Logan Mitchell doesn't know what to do to cure his insomnia and it scares him.

But he refuses to say anything.

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Soo yeah. I wrote this 'cause I know what Logan is going through. This is my fourth night without sleeping and I really don't know how to fix it. So I thought torturing Logan by giving him insomnia would make me feel better. And it did.

Actually, since this is now a oneshot story...thingy... I want to try taking requests. So if you have any ideas that you would like to see me write, let me know. It just has to have Logan angst and it has to be slash. 'Cause well, I can write anything straight. I never have been able to. XD

I hope everyone liked the oneshot. and I promise, in the next few days or so, Shattered Silence The Rewrite will be posted. And I have a surprise for all you lovely readers and reviewers.

Until Then...

Love Peace and Slash:

Hikari!


	3. Burden

Bwahahahahaha. I iz back again with a new oneshot my Little Lights! And this one is dedicated to...*drum roll* TheApathyImp! Who gave me a lovely prompt that I just so happened to be needing to write so without further delay...

Disclaimer Time!

Disclaimer: I own Big Time Rush...posters. :3

Now On With The Shot!

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Burden

_Fag_

_Fairy_

_Pansy_

_Cream Puff_

_Fag Trap_

_Bender_

_Queer_

And so many more after that. He couldn't take it anymore. The blonde was seriosuly getting on his last nerve and if it didn't stop, he wouldn't know what else to do.

"Oh hey there Fag Trap. How's it going?" the blonde boy sneered and it took every ounce of control that Logan owned to will himself not to cry. He refused to let the teen see him in a moment of weakness.

"None of your buisness Jett. Now move. I'm trying to read and your ugliness is blocking my light." the brunette wanted to laugh at the look on the T.v stars face after he had said that. Although, his satisfaction didn't last too long when Jett grabbed him by the hair.

"So the Cream Puff finally grew a pair? Okay then. Let's see how tough you are after this." With one shove, Logan was in the pool, only to be taken out after he was thoroughly soaked from head to toe. He could be seen being dragged into the lobby, but after that, the brunette disapeared.

"I'll show you not to mess with me." Jett growled as he shoved Logan into the Palmwoods freezer, smirking when Logan fell to his knees.

"Now, you stay there and think about what you have done. I'll come and get you when I feel like." and just like that, the freezer was locked and Jett was gone.

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"James, Carlos, have you guys seen Logan? I can't seem to find him anywhere." a tall blonde with bushy eyebrows said as he walked into 2J. The blonde stared at his brunette and raven haired boyfriends, frowing hen they said they hadn't seen him.

"I think he said something about going to the pool." James said thoughtfully, glancing over to Carlos who was trying to get a hold of Logan, but failed.

"Nah, I already checked the pool. I think he's in trouble." James and Carlos immeaditely growled at the thought of someone hurting their Logan. Now they were pissed. It's one thing to mess with them. It's another to mess with Logan.

"Let's go." James muttered as he grabbed his jacket. The singers looked at him with confused faces and James did nothing.

"I have a feeling that I know who hurt Logan."

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_S-s-s-so c-c-col-cold. _Logan thought. He was freezing. He could see his breath in the small chilly place and it didn't help the fact that he was barefoot either. He wished he hadn't said anything to Jett, but he just couldn't take it anymore.

Everyday, Jett called him something. Whether it be cream puff, or fag trap ; which were Jetts favorite because he knew how much it hurt Logan, Jett always came up with a new name to call him.

Yesterday, Logan was called Satans Creation. Something that the boy had cried about for a while. But he knew Jett was just an ass in general, so he just things that popped into his head. Logan figured it was the way he was raised.

But that didn't mean that it hurt any less.

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"JETT! GET YOUR PALE ASS OVER HERE!" Carlos shouted, smiling when all of the palmwoods kids backed away. They had never heard Carlos shout so loud before, and to be a little honest? It kinda scared them.

Kendall saw Jett walk up to them with a smug look on his face, and the singer knew Jett had done something to their lover. Grabbing the T.v star by the shirt, Kendall growled and glared, trying to burn holes into Jetts face.

"Where. Is. Logan."

Jett smirked. "Oh you mean Fag Trap? He's in time out. He said some pretty mean things to me. You know, you should try to keep that dog on a leash. I don't know how Bitters let you keep him knowing that no animals are allowed in the apartments."

That, earned Jett a punch to the face and a kick where the sun don't shine.

"I'm not going to ask you again Stetson. Where. Is. Logan."

Not wanting to be injured any further, Jett squeaked out "In the freezer!" before he was tossed into the pool.

This would be the last time Jett ever messed with what belonged to them

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"Logan!" Carlos shouted as he opened the door to the freezer and watched as James walked out with a shivering Logan in his arms. The Latino wanted to kill Jett but he couldn't because Logan was more important.

The trio walked up to 2J in silence, their gaze staying on Logan the whole time and as soon as the door to their apartment closed, all hell broke loose.

"Why didn't you tell us Jett was messing with you Logan!" Kendall shouted, watching as Carlos wrapped Logan in a few towels.

"D-di-didn't wa-wa-want you g-guys t-to be w-worr-ried." he stuttered out, flinching at the harsh gaze Kendall set on him.

"And that turned out so well didn't it? You were in the freezer!" the blonde ran a hand through his hair and tried to calm himself down. But it wasn't working.

"B-bu-burden. D-don't n-ne-need to b-bur-burden you g-guys with m-my p-pr-problems." Logan muttered, thanking James for the clothes that the brunette had given him. Although, he was a little shocked when he saw that it wasn't his clothes. But Kendall's, James, and Carlos' clothes.

"Go get dressed." Kendall said and Logan fled the room, head bowed in shame. He knew Kendall was upset with him. He knew this was happen. Why did he have to be such a screw up!

When he came out, Kendall's anger had disapeared as he saw his lover. Logan was clearly wearing a pair of Carlos' boxers, James' sweatpants, and Kendall's hockey jersey, making him look incredibly small and weak.

Sighing, the three boys walked over to Logan and pulled him over to the couch.

"Look, next time something like this happens, you tell us. Okay? We were so worried that something had happened to you." Carlos said, kissing and nipping at Logan's neck and while James was busy nibbling on Logan's ear, Kendall was kissing Logan allover his face, trying to heat up his head from the cold.

"I'm sorry for being mad at you." he muttered, cupping Logan's cheek and bringing him down for a small kiss.

James stared at Logan and smiled at the blush on his little brunettes face. "You better tell us when Jett does something like that." Logan nodded shyly. He knew that there would be no stopping the guys next time Jett did something to him.

"We love you Logan. Don't you ever forget that."

"I-I love you too. Really. I do." and Logan meant it.

Because after today, Jett never messed with Logan again. And Logan has three amazing boyfriends to thank for that.

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Sooooo...hmmm. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I kinda like it. But holy crap. I actually had to look up some of the words I used and I felt so bad! I wanted to cry.

Well, I hope everyone liked this...err...whatever it is.

Till Then!

Love Peace and Slash:

Hikari!


	4. Movie Night

Why hello there Little Lights! Who's ready for a new oneshot! There's an epic authors note at the end so I'll see you guys there later. This oneshot is for Logan Henderson Is Mine who requested this lovely prompt. Which is lovely and I had so much fun writing it because it had to do with Star Wars.

Disclaimer Time!

Disclaimer: I'm so close to winning the bidding war over them on ebay. I just have to out bid this lady. Then they will be mine! Mwahahahaha!

Now On To The Shot!

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Movie Night

He knew they would forget. Normally, when it was his turn to pick a movie, they would come up with some stupid excuse to leave. Only to come back and apologize a few minutes later.

But this time was different.

This time, it was more like they were avoiding Logan on purpose. He hadn't seen them all week, mainly because they were only spending time with each other, leaving Logan out of all their festivities.

So tonight, Logan sits on the bright orange couch in 2J, cuddled up with a blanket, watching Star Wars the Empire Strikes Back, his favorite out of all the Star Wars movies. He's all alone and it he can't bring himself to care. He's always been alone.

He doesn't understand what he sees in the guys he calls his boyfriends. And no matter how many times they say they love him, it doesn't take away the fact that if they really loved him, they would be here with him.

But he wont tell the guys how much their negligence is affecting him. He's gotten the idea that his insomnia is caused from being ignored. It's not a crazy thought, his lack of sleep started when the guys started spending less and less time with him. He wont tell the guys this, because he loves them and he would do anything to keep them happy.

Logan watches as Darth Vader says that he is Luke Skywalkers son and he smiles because at least Luke has a father. Granted the fact that he's evil, but he has a father and Logan can smile at something so sad because he hasn't smiled in weeks.

As the movie ends, Logan hears three voices coming from the hall and then he feels that pain in his chest. The one where you know that you don't belong and as much as it pains him to say it, he has to break up with the boys. They don't need him. They never did.

"Hey Lo- oh shit." it's Kendall's voice that says this. But Logan can't tell what the emotion is.

"Logan. I- we're so sorry. We just-" Logan cuts Carlos off with his hand.

"Forgot? Yeah. I know. You guys always forget. But this isn't about the movie. It's about me. You three have been ignoring me. And honestly? I can't handle that type of pain. Not anymore. I'm sorry. Just remember that I'll always love you guys. No matter what." He takes a deep breath and sighs. "I'm not going to leave the band. But, I have to let you guys go and live the life you want. It's not fair to hold you down." and with that, Logan walks to his and James' room, crying into his pillow.

But because he had the courage to break up with the three loves of his life, Logan finally got his first full night of sleep.

He slept because he loved them enough to let them go.

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So this was supposed to be happy. But it wasn't. Kinda upsets me.

So yeah, Logan left the guys and in return, he finally got himself some sleep.

Anyways, there's a poll on my profile and whichever story wins, will be the first story updated. So go vote! Or not. It's up to you.

Until then my Little Lights...

Love Peace and Slash:

Hikari!


	5. Because They Loved Him

Heh. So I kinda owe my friend an apology. I shant say why but I just do. Ladies and Gentle-Lights, I bring you part two of the Movie Night oneshot!

Dedicated to my dear friend, TheApathyImp. I hope you like it!

Disclaimer: Guys, we've been through this. I don't own the boys. Nor will I ever own them. Now that that has been cleared up, we can move on.

Now On To The Shot!

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Because They Loved Him

They didn't mean to skip movie night. Honestly! But they were invited to a party at Jo's place and they really wanted to go! It didn't cross their minds that maybe Logan wanted to go to. They forgot that it was Logan's turn to pick the movie and they knew that they shouldv'e checked the date. But they forgot.

They were shocked when they saw that Logan's eyes had turned to a dull brown and not the normal bright chocolate color that they had always loved. It broke their hearts to see this change in Logan and it hurt them even more knowing that they were the cause of it.

But they would fix it. They refused to let Logan go more than a day without them. He needed them. But they needed him more. He was the glue that held them together. Without Logan, James would spend all of his free time in the bathroom rather than with the boys. Without Logan, Carlos would end up in the hospital with broken bones because Logan hadn't stopped him from doing a dangerous stunt. Without Logan, Kendall wouldn't know who to protect.

Without Logan, their world was falling apart.

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The next morning, James is sitting on his bed, thinking of ways to make it up to Logan. He thinks that he would take Logan out on a romantic date. He doesn't know where but he has the idea that the roof would be a good place.

But then, his thoughts are shattered and he has to force himself not to stare at Logan, who had just gotten out of the shower. The only thing that is keeping James' sanity together is a towel.

_'He's trying to kill me.' _James thinks as he watches little beads of water slide down Logan's chest and he wants- no, he needs to do something about the little _problem_ that Logan has caused. But because he and Logan aren't together anymore, he can't ask Logan to help him.

"H-hey L-Logan." James says. Logan inwardly smirks at how his plan is working. He wants to tease the guys. He wants them to know what they've missed. And he knows that if he teases them far enough, they'll be begging for him to take them back.

He would take them back if they asked, but torturing them is better.

"Can I help you James?" Logan asks, shooting James one of those smiles that James loves and James squirms on the bed, trying to alivieate the pressure in his jeans. But it doesn't really work since Logan has yet to put some actual clothes on.

_'You can help me by bending that p-'_ James is snapped out of his thoughts when Logan walks out of their room, still wearing that damn towel. And being the lost puppy he is, he follows Logan, drooling over his ex's body.

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"L-Logan!" This time, Carlos is the one to see Logan practically naked in the apartment and the thoughts that from in the singers mind, are not innocent ones.

_'The things I could do to that boy right now. Mmmm.' _the Latino thinks, smirking when Logan's towel almost falls off and he's suddenly being exposed to all of Logan's glory.

I'm talking about his ass. Fuckin perverts you guys are.

Then, Kendall is walking into the living room, eating an apple, which promptly falls to the floor after the blonde sees his ex boyfriends ass. He has the suspicion that Logan is teasing them on purpose. But he can't really think as well when Logan is suddenly sucking on a lollipop.

'I'll give him something to suck on.' Kendall is thinking.

And then! The boys have finally lost it. They tackle Logan to the ground when the pale boy lets out a sinful moan. James is on top of Logan, nipping his jaw and kissing his way up to the boys lips. Carlos is right beside Logan, sucking on the boys pulse point smiling when a dark mark starts to form before he goes to licking it like a kitten. Kendall is pushing James off Logan so that he can attack Logan's lips, which taste like watermelon blow pops.

Panting, Logan pushes his boys off him, smirking when he looks at the puppy dog faces in front of him.

"Do you see what you have missed?" he asks, eyes shining with hope as he re-adjusts his towel. He hopes the guys are sorry. He really doesn't want to spend any more time away from them.

"We do see. And we're sorry that it took us so long to see. We're sorry for ignoring you Logan." James says softly, sending Logan a soft smile, the pale boy immeaditely knowing that he's truly sorry.

"I'm sorry for ignoring you Logie! But I'll make it up to you. No matter what!" Carlos shouts, smiling when Logan laughs at his outburst.

"I didn't think that it would hurt me this much. But as soon as you said you had to let us go, I knew I had to get you back. I'm sorry for hurting you. We all are." Kendall is looking straight into Logan's eyes when he says this and he knows that when Logan's eyes shine with happiness that they are forgiven.

"I love you three. Don't ever forget that. And quit ignoring me. It really hurts. I thought you guys didn't love me anymore. I wouldn't blame you if you didn't love m-" Logan is cut off by three kisses, and at first, Logan's head hurts because Carlos practically head-butted Logan. But he accepts the kissing, because he knows that it's full of love.

Logan knows he's loved. And if he ever thinks otherwise then Logan will have three very angry boyfriends to answer to.

But he doesn't think like that anymore and now, he actually gets sleep. Because now he knows that Kendall, James, and Carlos love him.

He knows that they always will.

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Sooooo heh... this was supposed to be angst and then smut tried to worm its way in. And then happiness came had to ruin it, but then there- you know what. this is perfect and I love it and it's amazing.

Until Then Little Lights...

Love Peace and Slash:

Hikari!


	6. Because He Doesn't Care

Hello there Little Lights! I can't believe I'm happy at like, five in the morning. And this is my first oneshot where L-

Logan: Don't tell them! It could ruin everything!

Ruin what? This isn't- you know what. Why did I even invite you? Just do the disclaimer Hortense.

Logan: Hikari doesn't own Big Time Rush.

Damn straight I don't.

Now On To The Shot!

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Because He Doesn't Care

No matter how many times this is said, it can never be over used.

Sometimes, he did need new friends. But he stuck by them through everything.

And you know why. You know, and I don't even have to tell you. But I'm going to tell you anyways.

He stuck by those three boys, because he loved them.

But sometimes, they didn't love him. Or maybe, they just didn't love him at all. They never said they loved him. Nor had they shown him any signs of loving him either. In fact, they practically ignored him. They never listened to what he had to say. And they never stuck up for what he believed in.

But this time, he was done.

He did love them. He told them more than once that he loved them. He even gave them up BECAUSE he loved them. He did everything he could to try and show the three boys that meant the world to him that he needed someone to be there for him.

But no one listened.

They just assumed that everything was fine. They claimed that they knew everything about him so they obviously knew when he was just having one of those days. They basically said it was like it was his time of the month. Because apparently, they knew him so well.

But that's where they went wrong.

They didn't know that he cried himself to sleep almost every night, wondering why no one loved him. They didn't know that everytime that he was ignored, he would lock himself in the bathroom and cut himself till he was on the verge of passing out. They didn't know that he was ready kill himself. And they damn well didn't know that he had planned to kill himself tonight.

They didn't know. Because, they didn't want to know. And because they didn't want to know, they had no idea that where he was right now would be his final sight before he left the world.

But he didn't care. Because right now, as he sits on the roof, thinking about where he'll be going, he doesn't care that they aren't looking for him. He doesn't care that as soon as those letters he left them are found, that it'll be too late. He doesn't care that he'll never see them again.

But let me point this out. He's not doing this because he loves them. This time, Logan Mitchell is going to be selfish. This time, he's going to do something for himself and not for the ones who don't appreciate it. Because for once in his young life, Logan Jay Mitchell, doesn't care.

For once in his life, he doesn't have to care.

As he stares up at the sky, he says a prayer to God. Thanking the lord for letting him have the chance to live a wonderful life. Then, he thanks his parents. For raising him and molding him into the selfless person he grew up to be. Finally, Logan thanks Gustavo. If it weren't for him, Logan would still be in Minnesota. So for that, he is thankful.

As he ends his prayers, Logan pulls something out of his pocket. It's small and shiny and it makes Logan smile as he stares at it. The item is full of memories that the genius would never erase from his brain. And Logan can't help but stare at the object in remembrance.

For the object that Logan has in the palm of his hand, is a pocket knife.

This will be the weapon that takes away Logan's last breath.

And for once in Logan's life, our genius can put on a genuine smile and slash the vein on his wrist in a smooth, yet swift motion, eyes falling shut as he collapses to the ground with a soft smile on his face as he finally leaves this world that he was brought into sixteen years ago.

And do you want to know why Logan can smile in his time of death? I bet you already know the answer to this. But I'm going to tell you anyways.

Logan can smile in his time of dying. He can leave the world in peace. He can die as a free teenager without a care in the world.

Because for once in life, Logan Jay Mitchell, doesn't care.

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*shrugs* I was in an angsty mood. But I hope you liked it anyways!

Oh! For those of you haven't voted on the poll that's on my profile, go vote! Cause voting ends on the seventh!

Sooo does anybody have any angst they want me to write? Ha. I can't be trusted with angst. I mean, look what I did to Logan! And this was just 'cause I got bored!

Until Then My Little Lights...

Love Peace and Slash:

Hikari!


	7. No One

Grrrrr. Freakin hated this oneshot. It annoyed me at how hard it was to write. Important news at the end of the oneshot. And for anyone who has threatened to stop reading my stories because of a certain story that involves a certain band that's named after a rap by a certain rap artist, then I bid you farewell and happy reading. I sincerely hope that you find a story that captures your attention.

James: But I-

It's Disclaimer Time!

Disclaimer: I don't own the boys! Just this plot.

Now On To The Shot!

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No One

They watched as he slowly dragged the blade across his wrist.

They watched as he smiled while the blood trickled down his arms.

They watched as he fell to his knees, the same smile staying on his face as took his last breath.

The-

"LOGAN! NO!" they screamed, voices perfectly in tune as they each shot up from bed.

It had only been a dream.

"Carlos, g-go check on L-Logan." it was a whisper but Carlos heard it and he immeaditely ran to Logan's room, horrified to see that their little brunette was not there. He checked the bathroom, the kitchen, even the balcony and the small boy was no where to be found.

"Guys! He's not here!" Carlos shouts and they immeaditely rush by his side. A tall blonde is on the verge of tears while the even taller brunette is angry. This was all their fault. The dream was just a vision of what was to come. And this was their chance to make everything right again.

Realization finally catches up with the brunette. Really? Just now? And Carlos and the blonde watch as he rushes out the door, the two immeaditely following him.

"James! Wait up!" the blonde shouts at James. He doesn't understand that James is trying to save their lover. If he did, he would be running just as fast. But they don't run faster than James, in fact, they stopped running because they have no idea why the hell he's running to the roof and it makes James question as to how his boyfriends became so stupid in a matter of five minutes.

The brunette is having trouble breathing but he reaches the roof just in time to see Logan staring at the pocket knife.

"Logan stop!" Logan doesn't even have enough time to react before James is pulling the younger boy into his arms and sobbing into his hair. Logan's face is bombarded with kisses and he begins to wonder if James has finally gone insane.

"James...get...off." the boy breathes out because James is crushing him. If he didn't kill himself sooner, than James' strong hold on his stomach would surely be the death of him.

"Why." This confusing the shorter boy. Why what?

"Huh?"

"Why did you just try to..."

Oooooh. Woah woah woah. Hold the fuck up. Why does James care about him now? He never even payed attention to him and all of a sudden he cares just because he was finally going to be selfish and finally live the life he wanted? I mean yeah, he would be dead. But at least he would be happy!

"You wanna know why James? You really want to know why I'm going to kill myself?" Logan feels James nod as the taller boy sobz into his hair.

"You three don't love me! In fact, ya'll practically ignored me for three weeks!" he shouts, his southern accent flowing through as his shouts escalate in volume. The small boy explains how he had to be hospitilized for three days because he had cut too deep. The sad part was that Camille had found him and it took everything in his power to make sure she never told the boys. He explained that he cried himself to sleep for three weeks and he would always wake up to an empty home.

"I cut myself every night. But you three were too wrapped up in each other to notice my pain. And to be honest, you three probably wouldn't have noticed if I was dead either. Face it, you guys don't love me. If you did, you wouldn't have ignored me." Logan is crying at this point and James has to pick him up bridal style so that he doesn't try to leave. The taller brunette is whispering soft comforting words to Logan but he knows it wont help.

By the time James and Logan reach the apartment, the younger teen is being smothered with kisses and he's being groped in the nicest way possible. Which is kinda creepy now that Logan thinks about it. He can't really tell if he should be flattered that his boyfriends are groping him while he's crying, or if he should be weirded out.

"Logan. Let's get one thing straight. We love you. We always will love you. Nothing will ever change that. And I know you don't believe us and that it will probably take time before you decide to give us your trust; and that's okay! But I just want you to know that we love you."

Carlos stares at James before he opens his mouth to speak. "I- I couldn't find you. I thought you were dead and I was crying because I never want you to leave. I thought that maybe- maybe you were already dead. You can't leave us Logan. We love you too much. I'm sorry that I haven't been the best of boyfriends at the moment but I want to make it up to you. You know, if you'll let me."

The boys are silent before James looks up. "Kendall? Are you okay?"

Kendall stares at Logan, the two boys are currently wrapped in a heated conversation. But no one is saying anything. They talk with their eyes and you can clearly see that Kendall is about to cry harder than Logan is crying right now.

" I believe you guys. And Kendall? I love you too." Logan weeps. The boys smile as they all find a way to be next to Logan. The smaller teen has his head on James' chest, listening to older teens heartbeat. Carlos' legs are tangled with Logan's and Kendall has his arms wrapped around Logan's stomach.

Each boy is touching Logan, who is currently sleeping peacefully. He doesn't have a smile on his face like he used to. But that's okay. They can work on bringing that smile back. They can spend all the time in the world as long as it meant getting to see him smile.

Because they love him. And no one, not even God was going to take that love away.

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I didn't like the ending. I can't believe it took me this long to write this. But it was hard! Anywayz, were ya'll surprised? Bet ya'll didn't see that lil twist around the corner of Hikari's imagination now did ya?

Ha!

Sooo I have some really- no -some extremely bad news. I'm deleting Toy Soldiers. I know, I might lose some- if not all- readers and I'm incredibley sorry! I do plan on finishing it! Just, when I have some actual inspiration for it. I'm sorry.

I might just put it up for adoption just in case I think I wont finish it. If anyone wants it, PM and we'll discuss everything and in the next oneshot, I'll let ya'll know if I'm giving it up or keeping it.

Again, I'm extrmemly sorry and hope everyone of you can forgive me. I really do hope none of you are mad. Once again, I'm sorry.

Till Then...You know, if anyone doesn't decide to hate me...

Hikari.


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